Photo by: RE/Westcom/starmaxinc.com STAR MAX 2016 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED Telephone/Fax: (212) 995-1196 8/28/16 Nicki Minaj at The 2016 MTV Video Music Awards. (Madison Square Garden, NYC)

Do we hate women that are rich?

Do we hate women that are iconic?

Do we hate women who are confident in being sexy in their own skin?

Do we hate women who are universally identified as being a symbol of beauty?

Do we hate women who do something that is different than us?

Do we hate women who stand up for equality?

These are all questions I want you to deeply think about.  In today’s society everyone is getting rather obsessed with pulling down and clowning any woman that climbs up the latter to success in her own way.  Could it be that women in power are a threat in someway to those who either can’t be them or don’t understand them?  What can we do as a society at large to embrace and make room for powerful women of different cultures/races to lead without being scolded or scrutinized for every single move that they make? I mean since when was anyone perfect? Weren’t we all put on this Earth to be given a chance to be the best version of ourselves?

It seems to be a theme, although we are in the year 2018, to constantly bash women who do what they want to do with their lives.  For example, Mrs. Kimberly Noel Kardashian-West is ridiculed and investigated on her motives till this day for everything she does.  We don’t need to dig into her past, because who’s past doesn’t have a few skeletons and rotten memories that we hope never surface?  The point is she is constantly remembered for what she did wrong and never celebrated for what she has done or accomplished      (Kim’s Accomplishments). When was the last time someone said, “Hey, you go girl…no one is perfect but you keep pushing higher and stay positive” –We’d like to say no one really.  Such a sad but true reality. 

For instance, another example is Ms. Nicki Minaj being pulled down and gossiped about after her so called “hate” towards Mrs. Cardi B and her career.  Why are we as a society so fixated on the “He said- She said” and not focusing on how these two powerful female rappers are capable of role-modeling female empowerment and collaboration?  It’s as though people get a HIGH off of just seeing these two powerful iconic artist attack one another. Are we programmed as humans to seek gossip and hate? Clearly in 2018, the answer is YES.  

Although this vicious cycle is getting crazier by the moment, it is not something new that anyone should be shocked about. Remember the iconic pop-star Ms.Britney Spears? The Miss.American Dream? The girl next door? You know.. the one that everybody looked up to, wanted to dress, sing, dance, and be like? Yeah, lets talk about that. Britney was an artist with numerous awards, top chart singles, albums, and music videos (lets not forget she was on almost every Magazine cover), oh.. and I think she was dating that popular N’sync guy? The second her personal life got displayed on social media, she was not able to keep up with her image, and society broke her. Yeah.. we said it, society broke her. Oh, and now that’s all we remember her as… “before and after meltdown” or “Britney crazy phase”. So, is this a society problem? or a personal matter? We like to say the latter, because if you recall, nobody is perfect. 

So the next time you say, “Don’t pull a Lindsey Lohan” or “Shes only famous from a tape,” ask yourself these questions:

Do we hate women that are rich?

Do we hate women that are iconic?

Do we hate women who are confident in being sexy in their own skin?

Do we hate women who are universally identified as being a symbol of beauty?

Do we hate women who do something that is different than us?

Do we hate women who stand up for equality?

And if the answer is YES, here is what we suggest:

1. Reflect on a time when you messed up in your life and wish that it wasn’t broadcasted in public.
2. Ask yourself how would you want your family and friends to react?
3. Would it be fair for people to label you and ONLY see you for your flaws?–No you say? Ya that is what we thought.

We rest our case.

(Image showing pay inequality from https://socl120.wordpress.com/category/sexism/)

Society today has accepted the fact that women and men are treated differently, especially in their work. Women are seen as inferior to men, but in reality, are they? The answer is no. Women are capable of doing the same quality and quantity of work as men. As a female in a work environment dominated by males, there are 3 main actions I have learned to take to create a comfortable work environment for myself.

1) Speak your mind

• Don’t ever be intimidated to speak your mind. If you have something to say then go for it. The response back may not be what you were expecting but at least you said your view of the matter.

2) Don’t always say yes

• No one expects you to be available at all times of the day. If you are asked to stay and you can’t then just say no. Don’t feel bad as you are not the only one who has rejected the offer to work more.

3) Never let yourself feel left out

• The job may be male dominated, but that doesn’t mean you have to feel like you can’t socialize with them. There will always be a topic, whether about an event in life or something that occurred at work, to talk about and bond.

Author: Ms. Arpi Khodagulyan, Cheif Content Director of WAC 

Dr. Elaine Burke and I met in 2013. She has believed in me since our fate driven encounter at Alliant International University. She gave me so much space to be myself and because of that I was able to create Women’s Advocacy Club. Some people like it, some people hated it. It didn’t matter, she believed in me making a difference by empowering my voice and never doubting my abilities. Because of her I’m sane and well. I can’t wait to write about you in my dissertation acknowledgements. Love you!

Let your soul go free. Don’t conform to standards of society. Don’t be a cookie cutter version of what everyone is. Be yourself, literally means do what your heart desires without questioning it or thinking what others will think of you. Chase the vision in your head that won’t stop appearing not the vision others think you should chase. Being creative is not WRONG. Being different is not WRONG. Telling people they have to all be the same when we clearly are not is WRONG. Don‘t explain your differences to people, instead embrace them and be true to them by loving yourself. The truth is people always have a reason to talk about you, so that shouldn’t be the reason you stop being yourself because sooner or later their chit chatter will die out and you are left with yourself. And the question you will be asking yourself is, why did I let those “people” stop me from being my true, wild, authentic self? Don’t worry, it happens to us all. Be lucky when you wake up from society’s hypnosis to conform and start spreading your wings and FLY HIGH. Higher than you can imagine. Our limitations were instilled in us, and taught to us by people who lived in fear from breaking the box. Don’t be that person. Break the box. Want to be the next president? Do it. Want to own a store or a corporation? Want to be a brain surgeon at the age of 40 due to a career change? Go do it. Nothing is ” too late” . No dream is “Too Big” because we were meant to dream and achieve. Now go out there and make me proud.

LENA 

So what? Things haven’t been too gravy or mac and yummy..lately. It happens to us all. Whether it’s related to work, school, family, friends or love. Life can be quite a shaker upper!! BUT come back like a boomerang. It’s okay to fall what’s not okay is to think you belong there and don’t deserve another chance with life. This time around you will be stronger to deal with whatever ocean wave comes your wave.  Every fall is a teaching lesson, and if we take the time to reflect and listen to our inner voices we will know what that lesson was.  Besides, we weren’t born to know everything, we were born to experience and grow from those experiences.  That’s why we are all so unique because we all fall in our own way and develop our own ladders of how to climb back up. Perhaps you have a good friend that can help you in that process, or a therapist..maybe a sibling…doesn’t matter who it is or if you are doing it completely alone. Keep in mind there is always a NEW DAY which means NEW YOU.

She is stronger alone than carrying dead weight,

She is stronger alone because she doesn’t need a mate,

She is stronger alone because she can wait,

She is stronger alone and believes in her good fate,

She is stronger alone and doesn’t feel alone,

She is stronger alone and will find a new throne,

Stronger alone, she will fight,

Stronger alone, she will give all her might,

For this girl was not afraid,

She got off the ground where she was laid,

None of his hurtful words could break her down anymore

Because she found the secret to her sanity and that was to be alone.

A month ago I attended the production of a show of “LIPS” at UCLA. One year ago I was finishing my undergraduate degree at UCLA and I had heard that student producers were inviting writers and actors to collaborate on a unique version of the renowned show “The Vagina Monologues.” Eve Ensler, who created “The Vagina Monologues,” had long been an inspiration for me in my own interests pertaining to gender issues and feminism. I had first seen the show many years ago in Sydney and had more recently learned that she was the pioneer of “V-Day” – a global movement to end violence against women. Her efforts were made known to me through a moving and memorable documentary I had seen in a women’s studies class. Therefore, when I was selected as an author for a monologue, I was truly honored.

“LIPS” was to become a modern day vision of “The Vagina Monologues” as the show’s creators realized that the original monologues, written in the 1990’s, had focused on white, heterosexual, cisgendered women and they wanted the new show to represent the intersectionality of inequalities. I could not have been more inspired to hear about a diverse range of struggles and triumphs pertaining to sexuality, gender identity, racial inequalities, domestic violence, body image and eating disorders. There was humor, vulnerability, courage, anger and tears and all of the actors did such an incredible job in making the intimate monologues come to life.

The next day I found myself reading an educational book to my children about the differences between boys and girls and human sexuality, and I was suddenly so conscious of one of the monologues I had heard that illustrated pansexuality – the sexual, romantic or emotional attraction toward individuals, regardless of their gender identity or biological sex. Through that monologue I became conscious of the binary world we live in, pertaining to gender, and I started to question what I was reading to my children. This, to me, is art at its best. It had instantly educated and enlightened me and forced me to view the world in a completely different way the very next day.

The show concluded with a standing ovation and I just hope that the producers, writers and actors will continue to bring awareness to us with their talent and vision for sharing personal experiences in such dynamic and provocative ways.

#WomensAdvocacyClub

When she smiles…

When she laughs…

When she is as quiet as a dark silent night…

When she is hurt…

When she is confused…

When she is afraid…

Why does she always have to explain?

When she is hungry…

When she is in pain…

When she needs money…

Why does she always have to explain?

When she doesn’t want to…

When she wants to…

When she is content…

Why does she always have to explain?

When she wants to isolate…

When she wants to not marry…

When she wants no friends…

When she has no interest…

Because she is a she. That’s why she always has to explain.

Because… Because …Because…

Now she doesn’t explain anymore. She does what she wants and she likes it that way.

Her Soul. Her Life. Her Rules.

Thank you so much to Dr. Glaser for being so open to being interviewed by the #WomensAdvocacyClub. It was such an honor to collaborate with her to find out more about her professional background in the Los Angeles Police Department (L.A.P.D) as the SHEif (AKA Chief) Police Psychologist.  Please read below the questions we asked and her authentic responses.

1. What is your background in education and how did you decide you want to work for the LAPD?

I have a Masters in Social Psychology from New York University and a Masters and Doctorate in clinical psychology from CSPP-LA.  I started working for the LAPD ‘by accident’; at the time that I went to graduate school LAPD had a practicum program. When I was not offered a position at the site that I wanted, I was given an interview with LAPD and got the position. I stayed at LAPD for 26 years and went from practicum student to staff psychologist to Chief Police Psychologist. I retired from LAPD as Chief Police Psychologist, a position that I held for 9 years.

2.  What steps would someone have to take in order to have an opportunity to work in the LAPD as a Psychologist?

 The psychologist position for LAPD is a staff position as an employee of the City of LA. A good  clinical background is essential. Some experience working with law enforcement is helpful, but not essential.  Someone looking for a staff position should check the City ofLos Angeles website for job openings and requirements as the latter can change.

3. Can psychologists have other positions in the LAPD? If so, what are they? And have you done them?

 The LAPD has staff psychologists who work for the Behavioral Science Services Unit.; there is also a psychologist who works at the Police Academy training site.  The City of LA has other psychologists who perform pre-employment screening for first responders as well as fitness for duty evaluations; these psychologists work for the Personnel Department.

4.  Did you face any challenges as a women working in the LAPD? Were you always taken seriously or  did you needed to establish a serious tone ?

 When I first started at LAPD in 1980 women were just starting to be hired as police officers; prior to that they were “police women” and went to a ‘modified academy’ and couldn’t hold all of the positions on the Department that they can now.  When I was promoted to Chief Police Psychologist in 1996 I was the first woman to hold the rank of Commander. Since the psychologist positions are civilian and not sworn, that achievement was pretty much ignored by all.  But not by me.

5. What did your most challenging day at the LAPD job look like?

 I’m not sure that I had a most challenging day; there were several. I can remember my first formal meeting with the Chief and the Command staff; I was the first woman to attend that meeting who wasn’t taking notes or getting coffee.  It was awkward for some of the ‘guys’ as they weren’t sure how to treat me while I was in the meeting. They were all helpful and friendly outside of the meeting, but the protocol for how I should be treated in the meeting hadn’t been established. The experience reinforced for me the need for a ‘thick skin’ or the ability to work within an existing system, a predominantly male system, and slowly become an accepted member of the team without taking things personally.

6. What was your most memorable day at your LAPD job?

Again, I had many memorable days. Some were good, some were challenging and some were difficult. As the Chief Police Psychologist I was also the supervisor of the Employee Assistance Unit which housed the Peer Counseling Program and Chaplains Program and was in charge of line-of-duty-death funerals. I can recall helping to set up funeral services for officers killed in the line of duty; nothing was more difficult than dealing with the emotions that surfaced for everyone during those situations.  I can recall being at a hospital with an officer on life support and being there when the family had to disconnect him.  While my being a woman in a man’s organization had it’s challenges not all challenges were gender related.

7. What type of personalities do you suggest go into the LAPD mental health department?

I don’t think there is a personality type that would be best suited for the job. Having traits such as flexibility, compassion and an ability to think on the go would be helpful.  An understanding of the law enforcement culture is essential if one is to navigatethe world of law enforcement.

8. Have you considered teaching a course on mental health and the police department?

 I have taught several policy psychology courses at Alliant for the clinical forensic program: introduction to police psychology, the police psychologist as a field consultant to SWAT and the Crisis Negotiation Team, and stalking.

9. How important is it for police to seek mental health services?

 Anyone in a  stressful job should have mental health services available to them. The LAPD was perhaps the first law enforcement agency in the world to create an in-house Behavioral Science Services Unit in 1968; many other departments have followed that model and created their own version of the psychological services section. Police and other first responders are often put in life and death situations with but a second to make a decision; they are scrutinized by the media, the public and their own Departments to ensure that policing is fair, unbiased and appropriate. All of this on top of the actual job creates stress for officers and therefore having access to mental health services is essential. 

10. Have you ever been on a crime or crisis scene and provided your services?

I have been at many crime scenes, seen dead bodies, injured police officers, grieving police families. I was a member of the Crisis Negotiation Team which deployed with SWAT in the event of a barricaded suspect, hostage taker(s) or jumper. I have participated in negotiations and the debriefing that followed.  Anytime a psychologist is deployed they are expected to assist, it is part of the job.