Insurance & Financial Solutions with Patty K.- An Interview by Dr. Lena Magardechian

 

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Contact me for further information.
Patty Kodabakshian 
CA LIC#: 0G15832
818.419.5052

 Mrs.Patty Kodabakshian is definitely a superwoman in our club! She is a 52 year old wife, a mother of two daughters Preni and Elene, who are 17 and 14, and one ambitious entrepreneur with a big heart.

Dr. Lena Magardechian sat with Mrs. Kodabakshian over Starbucks coffee to meet with her and recognize her as being a true role model in our society, community, and world.  In response to this open invitation, Mrs. Kodabakshian was very receptive and open to being interviewed on her life.  Please read the interview questions below with Mrs. Kodabakshians responses. 


 

  1. Mrs. Kodabakshian, can you tell us a little more about you and your upbringing? We’d love to hear where you were born and what growing up in America was like for you. Certainly.   I was born in W. Berlin, Germany and was 2 years old when my parents and I went to Iran, where they are from.  I lived in Tehran, Iran until I was 11 years old.  We immigrated to the US in 1978, right before the revolution, and have lived here ever since.  When we came here, I did not speak English and had to learn the language. Obviously through going to school here, I learned English.  Growing up here back in the last 70’s was very tough because it was during the American hostage crisis.  I was teased a lot because they knew I was from Iran.  The kids in school were very cruel.  I really didn’t like it here.  I stood out because of my race. I decided that I was never going to tell another soul that I am from Iran!! Due to all the bad experience, my parents decided to put me in a better educational environment where there would be less hate. So, for high school, I went to a private Armenian school, with my own people!

  2. During our sit down you mentioned that you didn’t know you were going to become an entrepreneur, especially in the life and health insurance field. Can you tell our readers what made you get licensed in this field and what other experiences and degrees you have? I was in the legal field for 16 years, working as a paralegal, specializing in Estate Planning and transactional law.  I loved what I did, but I was capped and limited. There was no growth and if I wanted to grow, I’d have to go to law school, which was not an option.  In 2003, I became a mom and it became harder for me. I wanted flexibility, more time to be with my daughter and make more money.   As it turned out, when I was pregnant with my second daughter, my boss was diagnosed with cancer and died shortly thereafter.  This gave me the opportunity to take a year off to spend with my kids, all while my weighing my options.  I decided that if I became my own boss, I would have the flexibility to be with my kids.  As a working mom, you need to your own time.  Working around their schedule was what gave me the flexibility to be able to pick them up from school, or take them to the dr.  It’s been like this for 11 years now and I love it.

  3. In your line of work, what motivates you and drives you to stay focused and helpful? What tips would you give other women striving to achieve “success”?What motivates me the most is helping my clients uncover their unrealized needs.  We as women can be vulnerable and not really understand what we need help with.  I’d say be unstoppable and relentless in whatever it is you do.  Give your all no matter what.

  4. You did such a great job explaining the process and importance of life insurance Mrs. Kodabakshian.  Could you show in a simple step by step diagram how women especially can benefit and need to take care of their finances by investing in life insurance? Life insurance has evolved so much. People don’t just need it if they die anymore.  Now, you can utilize it while you’re alive and take advantage of what features and benefits it offers, such as tax free retirement and need for long term care when you’re older and get sick.   You can create a huge wealth with life insurance by a stroke of a pen you create dollars that never existed before!

  5. During our interview you talked briefly about your daughters.  If you are okay with us asking, can you tell us more about what you instill in your daughters and what you do or do not teach them about feminism? I tell them to be open minded.  I tell them to speak their minds. As a mother, I’m their role model. I have to be transparent as much as possible.  I teach them to have good values and morals.  Don’t be dependent on a man to take care of you in the future.  They need to be self-sufficient.  They need to be independent.  As far as feminism goes, girls nowadays understand about women’s rights so much more than I did when I was their age.  They know about abortion, date rape, when to say no, Pink Tax, equal pay in the workforce. I think they could teach me a few things on that matter!

  6. The #WomensAdvocacyClub is currently running a campaign called #HeelsHealCampaign.  The campaign is about empowering women to heal from past rape, molestation, hurt, heartache, abuse, or anything that left them feeling pain and unheard.  Do you have anything you would like to share with us that applies to this? If so, can you also provide us with a picture of you in your heels? We want to post it on social media and support your healing success. As a survivor of date rape and molestation, I’d say rise above it and don’t allow any man to take advantage of you, EVER.

  7. Lastly, we’d like to ask you to tell our readers a little bit about why you decided to get involved with Women’s Advocacy Club and what it means to you to be a part of a global movement? I decided to get involved because we need a platform like this to allow women share and learn from one another.  We need to come together as a community and empower each other, celebrate our successes and lift each other up.


For more information about our member, Mrs. Patty, please go ahead and click on her Facebook Link here to connect:

Insurance and Financial Solutions by Patty K.

 

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Don’t Tell Her How to do Her Job


Wait. What? I didn’t ask for your input or advice, did I? Didn’t think so. So thank you, but NO THANK YOU. This is her life, her game, her way.


Women often times than not are subjected to being “told” what to do and/or “how” to do something.  Imposing that there is a “wrong” or “right” way.  This is complete NON-SENSE because women don’t need a man or anyone to tell them how to do the following:

 

How to do their job 

What career path they should take 

Who they should and shouldn’t interact/collaborate with

How they should parent their child or children

How they should look 

How they should dress

How they should behave in public

How they should behave in private

And anything else that requires independent decision making 

Women need space, as does anyone else on our planet Earth, to have the freedom to express artfully (through various mediums: language, music, dance, poetry, art of drawing, sketching, writing, etc) what they feel, think, and believe Women in society deserve respect for any decisions they make and need to be given privilege to do so. 

Women are delicate creatures, and they deserve to be celebrated for their beauty of expressions. This should not be mixed up with weakness when women show the following expressions: Fear, anxiety, tears, hurt, cry, or pain.  These emotions are important for women to have and experience just as much as it is important for them to be a happy, loving, joyful, and upbeat.

Should a woman fail when she makes her decision? SO WHAT. Life is meant to make mistakes over and over and over!!! Women are not programmed to be perfect nor will they ever be and that’s what makes them beautiful.  So please, be mindful and kind to your fellow women and girls.  Let them do as their heart desire and keep your “judgements” and “corrections” to yourself.  After all, no one asked for them.

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MAD as WAC.

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YES WE ARE MAD, BUT WE ARE HUMAN.

YES WE ARE MAD, BUT WE HAVE A HEART.

YES WE ARE MAD, BUT WE WANT RESPECT.

YES WE ARE MAD, BUT ARE NOT VIOLENT.

YES WE ARE MAD, BUT WE WILL NOT BE QUITE.

 

BEING MAD IS OKAY. BEING ANGRY IS OKAY. WE ARE COMMUNICATING OUR FRUSTRATION WITH HOW INJUSTICE CONTINUES TO SURVIVE IN OUR SOCIETY. AND PEOPLE ARE BLINDLY FEEDING THIS MONSTER AS IF IT WILL NOT IMPACT THEM AND THEIR LIVES AS WELL AT SOME POINT.  

IT’S LIKE BEING STABBED IN THE HEART AND NOT CRYING FOR HELP. HOW DO WE EXPECT SOCIETY TO FLOURISH WITHOUT RECOGNIZING THAT THINGS ARE HAPPENING IN THIS WORLD THAT ARE ONLY REINFORCING HATE, INJUSTICE, INEQUALITY, AND MISTREATMENT?

BEING AN ADVOCATE TO US MEANS RE-ENERGIZING AND GETTING BACK OUT IN SOCIETY AND FIGHTING THE INVISIBLE WAR AGAINST:

WE.

THE POOR.

THE COLORED.

THE DIFFERENT.

THE LESS PRIVILEGED. 

THE FEMALE SOUL, MIND, AND BODY.

THE DISABLED.

THE DOUBLE STANDARDS.

THE GENDER RESTRICTIONS.

THE EMOTIONALLY NEGLECTED AND EXCLUDED.

SHOULD YOU NOT HAVE ANGER BUILT UP IN YOU, YOU PROBABLY DON’T CARE TOO MUCH FOR THESE ISSUES AND FOR THAT REASON WE ASK THAT YOU MOVE ASIDE AND ALLOW THOSE OF US THAT SEE INJUSTICE HAPPENING STEP UP AND BE WARRIORS. 

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“Professionalism” and Sandbags

In all my work and career, I have hear the word “professionalism” thrown around like a sand bag. No meaning, random, no definition, or value when said …just like a sand bag. I have had many critics expect me to fit into this sand bag thinking of being a so called “professional” — mind you I have no idea what their idea of this construct is. Does it mean wear a tie? Does it mean speak like you know the entire dictionary heart to heart word by word? What on earth is meant by this word?

Here is what I have come to figure the meaning of this words is in my experience:

1. Be professional..meaning don’t speak your mind.
2. Act professional..meaning don’t do anything that might be offensive to anyone at anytime as long as you live on this earth.
3. Look professional…meaning DO NOT have a social life or in anyway show that you dress in anything else but dress pants and a collared shirt.

In other words BE, ACT, LOOK professional: meaning is to fit into the box and hold on to the values of the mainstream culture. Don’t question it, don’t challenge it, just do it is basically the subliminal message.

When this word is thrown around it gets confusing, because of course context matters. For example, when a person is on social media and wants to showcase pictures of themselves in a photo shoot because they love modeling they have that right to do so, because the context in which they are displaying it is appropriate to them. They aren’t dressing up in a swimsuit and showing up to work for example, so that shouldn’t be anyone’s business what side projects that person is doing.

The point is, we need to understand that being “professional” is not a lifestyle but rather a behavior of conduct in a CERTAIN CONTEXT and shouldn’t be the way of living for a person just because they are worried people will stock their social media or life in general.

I say this especially because as a woman, I carry myself very professionally in my work context as I recommend everyone should. However, when I want to do advocacy work for my non-profit, work on my modeling, go exercising in short shorts or do anything else — that’s no one’s business. I can behave however I want outside of the context of my contracted work and jobs. It is unrealistic to keep boxing people up. Yes I wear bathing suits, I curse, I drink socially, and do other “human” activities. I am not going to constrain myself to only keeping a image that is JUST PROFESSIONAL (Sand Bag?)– isn’t that what LinkedIn is for? Other outlets of media are created for this very reason– to help humans connect outside of work and show interest in the arts of creativity.

Creativity is pretty much what I wanted to get at as my last point. We need to be open to people being creative with their lives and work. Or else we just have a bunch of robots running this world, and that my friends is literally a no-brainer world.

 

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An Interview about WAC with Dr. Magardechian: By Forensics Psychologist, Robert Benjamin

Who are you, and what do you do surrounding career counseling?

Dr. Lena Magardechian, founder of Women’s Advocacy Club (WAC). Growing up Dr. Lena was faced with challenges, including discrimination, harassment, bullying, belittling, and sexism. Due to these experiences she felt compelled to make changes globally by not only pursuing her own psychology doctorate, but also starting an organization that stood up for justice, humanity, empowerment and kindness.

What is the mission statement surrounding your organization?

According to Dr. Lena, “the WAC organization continues to grow and we hope to connect with more people in the community to continue to support women and men from all walks of life on important gender and social justice issues that must be addressed”.

What demographics do you work with?

She works with all demographics of gender (women, men, transgender, and non-binary), ethnicity, ages, disabilities, races and nationalities. All of which can benefit in their own personal growth through networking, activities, events, and meetings. Dr. Lena sets the foundation of diversity education and exposure that helps the client better navigate their personal and career growth. Those who contribute their time and energy to the growth of the organization benefit not only through being educated and mindful of their surroundings, but also benefit having a reliable reference. In addition, students and volunteers are provided with a signed acknowledgment of participation. Social and professional advancement.

What methods do you use to help clients?

Top priority: gain information of what the client wants to get out of the organization. Once that is established, Dr. Lena focuses on the strengths of members of the club. This provides a nurturing and safe environment for the clients to grow with more gender awareness in a culturally sensitive society. Dr. Lena also has leaders, who create their own titles within the organization that support the needs and the mission of the club (e.g., content director, sales director, etc).

What are common challenges faced by your clients?

Sometimes people think they can solve their personal needs and goals in the course of a week. However, through patience, maintenance, and a positive attitude, students have benefited from the organization. For example, students learn public speaking, marketing, networking, professionalism, writing, and advocating.  

Stop Projecting Perfection.

We live in a society that encourages us to speak up and advocate for humanity. Yet we scold and punish people who get up and do it. The hypocrisy in society is just disgusting. How is anyone suppose to stand up for justice when people who refuse to stand up only have judgement and negativity to offer?

Society is fixated with social media likes and loves as a means of gaining approval. Since when was living life about approval? The only approval you need is yourself, and if you are a believer of God, then him too or any religious figure your worship.

People have to feel free to express themselves twenty four seven. We can’t build up our emotions and pain all because we are worried it might be hurtful or offensive to someone.

We need to practice compassion and empathy in our voices and messages to the world. Anger is not a bad feeling, however it needs to be contained and expressed in a positive manner. So yes, I’m angry, I’m angry at the way the world has become so cold towards feelings, emotions, mental health, and pain.

This white picket fence lifestyle is so cliche and hard to keep up with. There should be more stories of pain, hurt, and truth on social media. Not just wedding photos, baby pixs, and anything that touches on ONLY the happy moments of your life or other’s lives– THAT IS NOT REAL.

Having only happy memories and sharing them is NOT real.

Real is saying, ” Hey I am depressed and I am going to therapy weekly” — or ” I am in financial debt and I hope I do not lose my job, any pointers on how to find a full time job would be great” — I would love to see more status updates with these types of truth, you know why?

Because it would prevent SUICIDE. Yes Suicide. Projecting hurt and pain helps bring awareness to the person’s circle about their mental state which can prevent them or others from getting worse.

As a survivor or suicide, depression, anxiety, and still working on my PTSD, I LOVE EXPRESSING MY WEAKNESSES as much as celebrating my highlighting moments in life.

Be balanced people. You can’t just keep projecting to the world that life is perfect– because if it is for you — then it isn’t for someone else, so if you did the math we are still in a negative. Which means we need to come together and show that life has both good and bad and as a community of humans we need to help each-other, not pull each-other down.

 

A Public FIRE Poem Letter To My Ex

A Public FIRE Poem Letter To My Ex

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YOU RUINED MY NAME. 

CALLED ME “PSYCHO” …OH, AND INSANE.

YOU LAUGHED SO HARD.

AND TOOK PLEASURE IN MY PAIN.

ALL BECAUSE I LOVED YOU AND WANTED YOUR LAST NAME.

DON’T FORGET, OUR MUTUAL FRIENDS WENT AGAINST ME AND MY TRUTH.

I GUESS THAT’S WHAT I DESERVE AS AN HONEST YOUTH?

YOU ALWAYS TOLD ME YOU HATED YOUR MOTHER.

AND TOOK PRIDE IN PLAYING ME AS IF I WAS JUST ANOTHER.

YOU CHEATED ON ME MORE THAN TWICE. 

WHEN I WANTED TO BE YOUR ARMENIAN WIFE AND MAKE YOU DAMATS RICE.

YOU LIED AND LIED AND LIED AND LIED AND LIED.

NOT UNDERSTANDING OR GIVING A DAMN ABOUT THE AMOUNT OF TEARS CRIED

I TOLD YOU 1.5 MILLION TIMES I WANTED TO WAIT.

BUT YOU TOOK THAT AS AN OPPORTUNITY TO HATE.

I WAS SUICIDAL FOR THE PAST FOUR YEARS.

ALL. BECAUSE. YOU. INSTILLED. HORROR. AND. FEARS.

I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY ENJOYING YOUR TIME WITH YOUR RANDOM FAKE “WIFE”.

I’M SORRY I WAS TRADITIONAL IN MY VIEWS AND WANTED AN ALL ARMENIAN LIFE.

NOW GO REST YOUR KIDS AND TELL THEM A BED TIME STORY.

AND PRETEND THIS REALITY DOESN’T EXIST AND I’M JUST A MAKE BELIEVE STORY.

                                                                                                      THE GIRL YOU GAS-LIGHTED, 

                                                                                                                           DR. ANONYMOUS

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Is Society Obsessed with Seeing Powerful Women Fall?

Do we hate women that are rich?

Do we hate women that are iconic?

Do we hate women who are confident in being sexy in their own skin?

Do we hate women who are universally identified as being a symbol of beauty?

Do we hate women who do something that is different than us?

Do we hate women who stand up for equality?

These are all questions I want you to deeply think about.  In today’s society everyone is getting rather obsessed with pulling down and clowning any woman that climbs up the latter to success in her own way.  Could it be that women in power are a threat in someway to those who either can’t be them or don’t understand them?  What can we do as a society at large to embrace and make room for powerful women of different cultures/races to lead without being scolded or scrutinized for every single move that they make? I mean since when was anyone perfect? Weren’t we all put on this Earth to be given a chance to be the best version of ourselves?

It seems to be a theme, although we are in the year 2018, to constantly bash women who do what they want to do with their lives.  For example, Mrs. Kimberly Noel Kardashian-West is ridiculed and investigated on her motives till this day for everything she does.  We don’t need to dig into her past, because who’s past doesn’t have a few skeletons and rotten memories that we hope never surface?  The point is she is constantly remembered for what she did wrong and never celebrated for what she has done or accomplished      (Kim’s Accomplishments). When was the last time someone said, “Hey, you go girl…no one is perfect but you keep pushing higher and stay positive” –We’d like to say no one really.  Such a sad but true reality. 

For instance, another example is Ms. Nicki Minaj being pulled down and gossiped about after her so called “hate” towards Mrs. Cardi B and her career.  Why are we as a society so fixated on the “He said- She said” and not focusing on how these two powerful female rappers are capable of role-modeling female empowerment and collaboration?  It’s as though people get a HIGH off of just seeing these two powerful iconic artist attack one another. Are we programmed as humans to seek gossip and hate? Clearly in 2018, the answer is YES.  

Although this vicious cycle is getting crazier by the moment, it is not something new that anyone should be shocked about. Remember the iconic pop-star Ms.Britney Spears? The Miss.American Dream? The girl next door? You know.. the one that everybody looked up to, wanted to dress, sing, dance, and be like? Yeah, lets talk about that. Britney was an artist with numerous awards, top chart singles, albums, and music videos (lets not forget she was on almost every Magazine cover), oh.. and I think she was dating that popular N’sync guy? The second her personal life got displayed on social media, she was not able to keep up with her image, and society broke her. Yeah.. we said it, society broke her. Oh, and now that’s all we remember her as… “before and after meltdown” or “Britney crazy phase”. So, is this a society problem? or a personal matter? We like to say the latter, because if you recall, nobody is perfect. 

So the next time you say, “Don’t pull a Lindsey Lohan” or “Shes only famous from a tape,” ask yourself these questions:

Do we hate women that are rich?

Do we hate women that are iconic?

Do we hate women who are confident in being sexy in their own skin?

Do we hate women who are universally identified as being a symbol of beauty?

Do we hate women who do something that is different than us?

Do we hate women who stand up for equality?

 

And if the answer is YES, here is what we suggest:

  1. Reflect on a time when you messed up in your life and wish that it wasn’t broadcasted in public.
  2. Ask yourself how would you want your family and friends to react?
  3. Would it be fair for people to label you and ONLY see you for your flaws?–No you say? Ya that is what we thought.

 

We rest our case.

 

A Woman’s Want Is A Man’s Reality

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(Image showing pay inequality from https://socl120.wordpress.com/category/sexism/)

 

Society today has accepted the fact that women and men are treated differently, especially in their work. Women are seen as inferior to men, but in reality, are they? The answer is no. Women are capable of doing the same quality and quantity of work as men. As a female in a work environment dominated by males, there are 3 main actions I have learned to take to create a comfortable work environment for myself.

1) Speak your mind

  • Don’t ever be intimidated to speak your mind. If you have something to say then go for it. The response back may not be what you were expecting but at least you said your view of the matter.

2) Don’t always say yes

  • No one expects you to be available at all times of the day. If you are asked to stay and you can’t then just say no. Don’t feel bad as you are not the only one who has rejected the offer to work more.

3) Never let yourself feel left out

  • The job may be male dominated, but that doesn’t mean you have to feel like you can’t socialize with them. There will always be a topic, whether about an event in life or something that occurred at work, to talk about and bond.

 

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Author: Ms. Arpi Khodagulyan, Cheif Content Director of WAC 

Dr. Elaine Burke

Dr. Elaine Burke and I met in 2013. She has believed in me since our fate driven encounter at Alliant International University. She gave me so much space to be myself and because of that I was able to create Women’s Advocacy Club. Some people like it, some people hated it. It didn’t matter, she believed in me making a difference by empowering my voice and never doubting my abilities. Because of her I’m sane and well. I can’t wait to write about you in my dissertation acknowledgements. Love you!

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