Meet #DrBellaDePaulo, AKA the “Profound Pioneer of #Singlism”. I found out about Dr. Bella DePaulo and her work with singles in the year 2010 through my late writing tutor and mentor, #DrTamaSogoian. I remember it all so clearly. I was at Alliant International University, Los Angeles and found myself constantly fed up with being judged negatively due to my single marital status. It was only due to this frustration that I started brainstorming with Dr. Sogoian on how to bring to light this issue. She instilled hope in me and encouraged me to look more into the work of Dr. Bella DePaulo and what she had done with regards to singlism. Being able to find a word that captured most my adult experiences helped alleviate hurt and pain. “Singlism”, was what I read on many of the articles and books by Dr. DePaulo. I kept repeating the word to myself and broadcasting it to all my friends, family and colleagues. Could this be true? There is a word to capture all the discrimination and judgement I have experienced due to being a single woman? YES, the answer was YES!! What a breathe of fresh air to know there was a doctor out there in the real world specializing in the very issue I felt was so important to address and research on. It was with this discovery in my Master’s program that I knew I had to pursue my doctorate and work more on the issue of singlism particularly with my identified population, the Armenian Americans. As a doctoral candidate, I , Lena Magardechian am proud to be taking my time to really enrich my work with the advancements of today’s research on singlism by Dr. DePaulo. And hope to work more closely with her on publishing my work. Once I had the opportunity to connect with Dr. DePaulo personally I knew that I had to interview her and understand her story of why she chose to study such a sensitive and dismissed topic. So with that in mind, I complied nine questions below and asked Dr.DePaulo to answer them. And sure enough she did with no hesitation and a kind heart. Thank you Dr. DePaulo. This really meant a lot to me!
Read below for the full interview.
Dr. Bella DePaulo
- You have accomplished a lot in your career, what motivates you to bust myths and educate people about singlehood?
I’m motivated by the myths – the ones that say that the lives of single people are somehow inferior, and that if only single people would marry, they would magically become happier, healthier, more connected, live longer, and all the rest. Those myths are wrong, and I have spent nearly two decades of my professional life trying to debunk them. Unfortunately, they are very sticky. It is hard to clean them up. Lots of people want to believe that they are true, https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/living-single/201612/why-single-people-can-t-catch-break.
I care about debunking the myths because it offends me as a social scientist when false notions get perpetuated, especially when they are misleadingly presented as having the backing of science. But I also care for personal reasons. There are now well over 100 million single people just in the U.S., and many more around the world. Getting told that their lives are second rate is personal to them. And it is just not true.
It is also just not fair. It is not fair to single people who may be wondering about a certain romantic relationship, and who decide to go for it, in part because they’ve been led to believe that their lives will be changed for the better if they do. Many may end up disappointed.
- When did you realize that you want to be a writer and author? Did you know you were talented at a young age?
That is so kind of you to suggest that I am talented as a writer! For a long time, growing up, I did not enjoy writing. I worried about it too much. I felt self-conscious about being evaluated by my teachers, and later, college professors. What changed that for me is when I took my first psychology course in college and had to follow the APA style manual in writing my papers. The manual sounded like a set of instructions to me. It didn’t seem like creative writing (and it wasn’t). So I didn’t obsess about writing at all when I wrote those psychology papers for my courses – anyone can follow a manual, I figured. That freed me not to worry about my writing, and I became less self-conscious and more engaged with my writing, without even noticing that such a change was happening. The next big step, much later on, was when I decided to go beyond the writing I was doing as a university professor who published in academic journals to write a book for a much broader audience. I went to a writers’ conference and did lots of other things to try to figure out how to write in a much more engaging way. That first book was Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After.
- How have you managed to put your work out into the public so confidently? Do you ever get scared of critics? If not, why?
When I first started publishing about single people and single life, I didn’t know what to expect. I was so heartened when most of the responses to Singled Out were so positive. It was especially meaningful to me to get personal notes from readers, saying how much they appreciated the book and how important it was to them to have their single lives validated.
There have also been critics. Sometimes I find the criticisms intriguing and I like to think about them and address them. Other times the criticisms seem mean-spirited. When I think people are just trolling me, I try to ignore them. Occasionally, people say things that hurt my feelings. For example, recently someone in a big online forum compared Singled Out to another book about singles and said she liked the other author’s style of writing better. I am proud of Singled Out and I worked hard on my writing and I’m proud of that, too, so that kind of remark was painful.
- What is your cultural background? What ethnicity do you identify with? Did that ever impact you wanting to become the professor and the public figure you are today?
All my grandparents came to the U.S. from Italy. No one on either side of the family went to college until my father took some courses in accounting. When I was applying to colleges, someone told my father that since I had good grades and test scores, I should apply to Vassar. He came home and told me. Neither of us, nor anyone else in the family, had ever heard of Vassar. I applied and got in, and then after that, I applied to Harvard for graduate school. My father was so proud he kept telling his friends about it over and over again until one of them told him to go tell someone else.
So it was a total surprise to me that I could end up at a really good college, and then a fabulous university for graduate school. A few months ago, an article in New York magazine, http://nymag.com/scienceofus/2016/08/the-new-science-of-single-people.html, described me as a “public intellectual,” and I still find it hard to believe that people think of me that way. It is a real honor.
To come back to your question, I think what was important wasn’t ethnicity so much as coming from a background in which no one at all in my family, in the generations before me, had ever done what I was doing. That was so different from, for example, what happened when I first got to Vassar. I met a classmate who said that when her family moved when she was in grade school, her father went around to the various schools to find out what percentage of their students eventually ended up at Harvard. That was his criterion for where his daughter should go for sixth grade. (At the time, it seemed like one of the most bizarre stories I had ever heard.) Eventually, I would meet many fellow students and colleagues who had academic parents. That intellectual world was totally unknown to me growing up.
- Has there ever been a point in your life where you felt ashamed to be single due to society, family, friends, etc?
There have probably been many people who thought I should have felt ashamed, but I never internalized that myself. The thing is, I never wanted to be married, so I guess that made it hard for other people to make me feel badly about not being something I never wanted to be. In a way, I’m proud of myself for pursuing the life that works best for me, even though it is not the life that is valued and celebrated in contemporary society. Only married life gets that kind of respect and recognition.
- What future do you see for the single community in the next 5-10 years? Will people start recognizing #singlism more?
I think two different trends will unfold. First, as the number of single people continues to grow, their status in society, and other people’s perceptions of them, should (in theory) become more positive. It is hard to keep believing that all single people are miserable and lonely when there are more than 100 million of them just in the US – and when many of them are single by choice! More single people also means more push-back on the singlism – the stereotyping, stigmatizing, and discrimination against single people. Singlist comments and practices will more often be recognized as such, and challenged and criticized.
The other trend is just the opposite. Because so many people want to believe that married people are better than single people, and that the only way to be truly happy and worthy is to get married, there will be some backlash to the rise of single people – especially the rise of happy single people. Some people find it threatening that single people can live happy, complete, fulfilling, and meaningful lives. They will resist those notions.
- Can you give us an example of you experiencing singlism and how you stopped it or didn’t stop it?
- What advice do you have for men and women who want to be amazing writers/authors like you?
It is so kind of you to describe me that way! I would suggest that people write about what they care about the most, and write in their own style. Also know that it is challenging to try to make a living from writing. Some people do great but many others struggle. Because so many people are willing to write for free (especially online), authors do not always get paid what they used to get paid and what they deserve to get paid.
- When is your next conference on#singlism?
I’m giving a TEDx talk in Hasselt, Belgium, on March 25, 2017.
Read about Dr. DePaulo here: (Taken from her website)
“After many years as a Visiting Professor of Psychology at the University of California, Santa Barbara, I am now a Project Scientist there. It’s just a different title. I guess no one should still get to call themselves a “visitor” after well over a decade. I came to UCSB in the summer of 2000 for what was supposed to be a one-year sabbatical, and never left.
I am a 60-something year old. I’m single, always have been, always will be. Using a term I coined, I’m “single at heart.” Single is how I live my best, most authentic, most meaningful life.
I have a longstanding interest and expertise in the psychology of deceiving and detecting deceit, a set of research and writings on how we live now, and a true passion for the practice and study of single life.
To talk about singles or the psychology of deception, I’ve appeared on television shows such as the Today Show and the Nightly News on NBC, Good Morning America on ABC, CBS This Morning, CBS Sunday Morning, and the Early show, CNN Newstand and Anderson Cooper 360, PBS, Harball with Chris Matthews, the Discovery Channel, Lifetime, and the BBC. I’ve also appeared a number of times on NPR and many other radio shows.”
You can go to my CONTACT page to get in touch.
My personal interview with her is next. Please stay tuned.
Want to read more about Dr. DePaulo?
Find her published work references here:
Books and Journals
DePaulo, Bella. (2015). How We Live Now: Redefining Home and Family in the 21st Century. Hillsboro, OR: Beyond Words.
DePaulo, Bella. (2006). Singled Out: How Singles are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After. New York: St. Martin’s Press. (Paperback edition was published in 2007.)
—Reprinted in the Bedford Reader: The chapter on single parents and their children, from Singled Out.
DePaulo, Bella. (Ed.). (2010). The Psychology of Dexter. Dallas, TX: BenBella Books.
DePaulo, Bella. (2014). The Best of Single Life. Charleston, SC: DoubleDoor Books.
DePaulo, Bella. (2015). Marriage vs. Single Life: How Science and the Media Got It So Wrong. Charleston, SC: DoubleDoor Books.
DePaulo, Bella. (2015). The Science of Marriage: What We Know That Just Isn’t So. Charleston, SC: DoubleDoor Books.
DePaulo, Bella. (2011). Singlism: What It Is, Why It Matters, and How to Stop It. Charleston, SC: DoubleDoor Books.
DePaulo, Bella. (2009). Single with Attitude: Not Your Typical Take on Health and Happiness, Love and Money, Marriage and Friendship.
DePaulo, Bella. (2009). Behind the Door of Deceit: Understanding the Biggest Liars in Our Lives.
DePaulo, Bella. (2009). The Lies We Tell and the Clues We Miss: Professional Papers.
DePaulo, Bella. (2010). The Hows and Whys of Lies.
Bond, Charles F., Jr., & DePaulo, Bella. (2011). Is Anyone Really Good at Detecting Lies? Professional Papers.
DePaulo, Bella. (2011). Friendsight: What Friends Know that Others Don’t: Professional Papers.
DePaulo, Bella. (2013). When the Truth Hurts: Lying to be Kind. Charleston, SC: DoubleDoor Books.
Fisher, J. D., Nadler, A., & DePaulo, B. M. (Eds.). (1983). New directions in helping. Volume 1: Recipient reactions to aid. New York: Academic Press.
DePaulo, B. M., Nadler, A., & Fisher, J. D. (Eds.). (1983). New directions in helping. Volume 2: Help-seeking. New York: Academic Press.
Nadler, A., Fisher, J. D., & DePaulo, B. M (Eds.). (1983). New directions in helping. Volume 3: Applied perspectives on help-seeking and receiving. New York: Academic Press.
DePaulo, B.M. (Ed.). (1988). Deception: Part 1. [Special issue]. Journal of Nonverbal Behavior, 3.
DePaulo, B.M. (Ed.). (1988). Deception: Part 2. [Special issue]. Journal of Nonverbal Behavior, 4.
Druian, P. R., & DePaulo, B. M. (1977). Asking a child for help. Social Behavior and Personality, 5, 33-39.
DePaulo, B. M., Rosenthal, R., Eisenstat, R. A., Rogers, P. L., & Finkelstein, S. (1978). Decoding discrepant nonverbal cues. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 36, 313-323.
—Reprinted in R. Rosenthal, J. A. Hall, D. Archer, M.R. DiMatteo, & P. L. Rogers. (1979). An introduction to measuring sensitivity to nonverbal cues: The PONS test manual. New York: Irvington.
DePaulo, B. M. (1978). Accuracy in predicting situational variations in help-seekers’ responses. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 4, 330-333.
DePaulo, B. M., & Bonvillian, J. D. (1978). The effect on language development of the special characteristics of speech addressed to children. Journal of Psycholinguistic Research, 7, 189-211.
DePaulo, B. M. (1978). Accepting help from teachers — when the teachers are children. Human Relations, 31, 459-474.
DePaulo, B. M. (1978). Help-seeking from the recipient’s point of view. JSAS Catalog of Selected Documents in Psychology, 8, 62. (Ms. No. 1721).
DePaulo, B. M., & Rosenthal, R. (1978). Age changes in nonverbal decoding as a function of increasing amounts of information. Journal of Experimental Child Psychology, 26, 280-287.
DePaulo, B. M., Rosenthal, R., Finkelstein, S., & Eisenstat, R. A. (1979). The developmental priority of the evaluative dimension in perceptions of nonverbal cues. Environmental Psychology and Nonverbal Behavior, 3, 164-171.
Rosenthal, R., & DePaulo, B. M. (1979). Sex differences in eavesdropping on nonverbal cues. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 37, 273-285.
DePaulo, B. M., & Rosenthal, R. (1979). Age changes in nonverbal decoding skills: Evidence for increasing differentiation. Merrill-Palmer Quarterly, 25, 145-150.
Judd, C. M., & DePaulo, B. M. (1979). The effect of perspective differences on the measurement of involving attitudes. Social Psychology Quarterly, 42, 185-189.
Rosenthal, R. & DePaulo, B. M. (1979). Expectancies, discrepancies, and courtesies in nonverbal communication. Western Journal of Speech Communication, 43, 76-93.
DePaulo, B. M., & Rosenthal, R. (1979). Telling lies. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 37, 1713-1722.
DePaulo, B. M., & Rosenthal, R. (1979). The structure of nonverbal decoding skills. Journal of Personality, 47, 506-517.
DePaulo, B. M., Zuckerman, M., & Rosenthal, R. (1980). Humans as lie-detectors. Journal of Communication, 30, 129-139.
DePaulo, B. M., & Fisher, J. D. (1980). The costs of asking for help. Basic and Applied Social Psychology, 1, 23-35.
Blanck, P. D., Zuckerman, M., DePaulo, B. M., & Rosenthal, R. (1980). Sibling resemblances in nonverbal skill and style. Journal of Nonverbal Behavior, 4, 219-226.
Zuckerman, M., Blanck, P. D., DePaulo, B. M., & Rosenthal, R. (1980). Developmental changes in detecting discrepant and nondiscrepant nonverbal cues. Developmental Psychology, 16, 220-228.
Nasby, W., Hayden, B., & DePaulo, B. M. (1980). Attributional bias among aggressive boys to interpret unambiguous social stimuli as hostile displays. Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 89, 459-468.
Brauer, D. V., & DePaulo, B. M. (1980). Similarities between friends in their understanding of nonverbal cues. Journal of Nonverbal Behavior, 5, 64-68.
Rosenthal, R., & DePaulo, B. M. (1980). Encoders vs. decoders as units of analysis in research in nonverbal communication. Journal of Nonverbal Behavior, 5, 92-103.
DePaulo, B. M., Zuckerman, M., & Rosenthal, R. (1980). The deceptions of everyday life. Journal of Communication, 30, 216-218.
DePaulo, B. M., & Fisher, J. D. (1981). Too tuned-out to take: The role of nonverbal sensitivity in help-seeking. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 7, 201-205.
DePaulo, B. M. (1981). Success at detecting deception: Liability or skill? Annals of the New York Academy of Sciences, 364, 245-255.
Blanck, P. D., Rosenthal, R., Snodgrass, S. E., DePaulo, B. M., & Zuckerman, M. (1981). Sex differences in eavesdropping on nonverbal cues: Developmental changes. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 41, 391-396.
DePaulo, B. M., & Coleman, L. (1981). Evidence for the specialness of the “baby talk” register. Language and Speech, 24, 223-231.
DePaulo, B. M., Brown, P. L., Ishii, S., & Fisher, J. D. (1981). Help that works: The effects of aid on subsequent task performance. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 41, 478-487.
Blanck, P. D., Rosenthal, R., Snodgrass, S. E., DePaulo, B. M., & Zuckerman, M. (1982). Longitudinal and cross-sectional age effects in nonverbal decoding skill and style. Developmental Psychology, 18, 491-498.
Harackiewicz, J., & DePaulo, B. M. (1982). Accuracy of person perception: A component analysis according to Cronbach. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 8, 247-256.
DePaulo, B. M., Lassiter, G. D., & Stone, J. I. (1982). Attentional determinants of success at detecting deception and truth. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 8, 273-279.
DePaulo, B. M., Jordan, A., Irvine, A., & Laser, P. S. (1982). Age changes in the detection of deception. Child Development, 53, 701-709.
Zuckerman, M., Spiegel, N. H., DePaulo, B. M., & Rosenthal, R. (1982). Nonverbal strategies for decoding deception. Journal of Nonverbal Behavior, 6, 171-187.
DePaulo, B. M., Rosenthal, R., Green, C. R., & Rosenkrantz, J. (1982). Diagnosing deceptive and mixed messages from verbal and nonverbal cues. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 18, 433-446.
DePaulo, B. M., Rosenthal, R., Rosenkrantz, J., & Green, C. R. (1982). Actual and perceived cues to deception: A closer look at speech. Basic and Applied Social Psychology, 3, 291-312.
DePaulo, B. M., Brittingham, G. L., & Kaiser, M. K. (1983). Receiving competence-relevant help: Effects on reciprocity, affect, and sensitivity to the helper’s nonverbally-expressed needs. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 45, 1045-1060.
DePaulo, B. M., Lanier, K., & Davis, T. (1983). Detecting the deceit of the motivated liar. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 45, 1096-1103.
Toris, C., & DePaulo, B.M. (1984). Effects of actual deception and suspiciousness of deception on interpersonal perceptions. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 47, 1063-1073.
DePaulo, B.M., Stone, J.I., & Lassiter, G.D. (1985). Telling ingratiating lies: Effects of target sex and target attractiveness on verbal and nonverbal deceptive success. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 48, 1191-1203.
—Reprinted in C.N. Jacklin (Ed.) (1992). The psychology of gender (Vol. 4, pp. 54-66). New York: New York University Press.
DePaulo, B.M., & Pfeifer, R.L. (1986). On-the-job experience and skill at detecting deception. Journal of Applied Social Psychology, 16, 249-267.
DePaulo, B.M., & Coleman, L.M. (1986). Talking to children, foreigners, and retarded adults. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 51, 945-959.
DePaulo, B.M., Kenny, D.A., Hoover, C., Webb, W., & Oliver, P. (1987). Accuracy of person perception: Do people know what kinds of impressions they convey? Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 52, 303-315.
—Reprinted in W.A. Lesko (Ed.) (1991). Readings in social psychology: General, classic, and contemporary selections (pp.44-63). Boston: Allyn and Bacon.
DePaulo, B.M., Tang, J., & Stone, J.I. (1987). Physical attractiveness and skill at detecting deception. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 13, 177-187.
DePaulo, B.M., & Coleman, L.M. (1987). Verbal and nonverbal communication of warmth to children, foreigners, and retarded adults. Journal of Nonverbal Behavior, 11, 75-88.
DePaulo, B.M. (1988). Nonverbal aspects of deception. Journal of Nonverbal Behavior, 12, 153-161.
DePaulo, B.M., Kirkendol, S.E., Tang, J., & O’Brien, T.P. (1988). The motivational impairment effect in the communication of deception: Replications and extensions. Journal of Nonverbal Behavior, 12, 177-202.
DePaulo, B.M., Tang, J., Webb, W., Hoover, C., Marsh, K., & Litowitz, C. (1989). Age differences in reactions to receiving help in a peer-tutoring context. Child Development, 60, 423-439.
DePaulo, B.M., Dull, W.R., Greenberg, J.M., & Swaim, G.W. (1989). Are shy people reluctant to ask for help? Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 56, 834-844.
DePaulo, P.J., & DePaulo, B.M. (1989). Can attempted deception by salespersons and customers be detected through nonverbal behavioral cues? Journal of Applied Social Psychology, 19, 1552-1577.
DePaulo, B.M., Epstein, J.A., & LeMay, C.S. (1990). Responses of the socially anxious to the prospect of interpersonal evaluation. Journal of Personality, 58, 623-640.
DePaulo, B.M., LeMay, C.S., & Epstein, J.A. (1991). Effects of importance of success and expectations for success on effectiveness at deceiving. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 17, 14-24.
DePaulo, B.M. (1992). Nonverbal behavior and self-presentation. Psychological Bulletin, 111, 203-243.
DePaulo, B.M., Blank, A.L., Swain, G.W., & Hairfield, J.G. (1992). Expressiveness and expressive control. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 18, 276-285.
DePaulo, B.M., (1992). Negotiating the thicket of truths and deceits in politics and in everyday life. The Long Term View, 1, 5-8.
Kenny, D.A., & DePaulo, B.M. (1993). Do we know how others view us? An empirical and theoretical account. Psychological Bulletin, 114, 145-161.
Wilson, T.D., DePaulo, B.M., Mook, D.G., & Klaaren, K.J. (1993). Scientists’ evaluations of research: The biasing effects of the importance of the topic. Psychological Science, 4, 322-325.
DePaulo, B.M. (1994). Spotting lies: Can humans learn to do better? Current Directions in Psychological Science, 3, 83-86.
–Reprinted in Annual editions: Social psychology: 1996. Guilford, CT: The Dushkin Publishing Group/Brown and Benchmark Publishers. (Also reprinted in the 1998 edition.)
DePaulo, B.M., & Tang, J. (1994). Social anxiety and social judgment: The example of detecting deception. Journal of Research in Personality, 28, 142-153.
Ansfield, M.E., DePaulo, B.M., & Bell, K.L. (1995). Familiarity effects in nonverbal understanding: Recognizing our own facial expressions and our friends’. Journal of Nonverbal Behavior, 19, 135-149.
Bell, K.L., & DePaulo, B.M. (1996). Liking and lying. Basic and Applied Social Psychology, 18, 243-266.
DePaulo, B.M., Kashy, D.A., Kirkendol, S.E., Wyer, M.M., & Epstein, J.A. (1996). Lying in everyday life. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 70, 979-995.
Kashy, D.A., & DePaulo, B.M. (1996). Who lies? Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 70, 1037-1051.
DePaulo, B.M., Ansfield, M.E., & Bell, K.L. (1996). Theories about deception and paradigms for studying it. Communication Theory, 6, 297-310.
Schutz, A., & DePaulo, B.M. (1996). Self-esteem and evaluative reactions: Letting people speak for themselves. Journal of Research in Personality, 30, 137-156.
DePaulo, B.M., & Bell, K.L. (1996). Truth and investment: Lies are told to those who care. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 71, 703-716.
DePaulo, B.M., & Ansfield, M.E. (1996). Detecting deception from nonverbal cues: Pinocchio’s revenge. Legal Medical Quarterly, 20, 15-19.
DePaulo, B.M., Charlton, K., Cooper, H., Lindsay, J.J., & Muhlenbruck, L. (1997). The accuracy-confidence correlation in the detection of deception. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 1, 346-357.
DePaulo, B.M., & Kashy, D.A. (1998). Everyday lies in close and casual relationships. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 74, 63-79.
Anderson, D.E., DePaulo, B.M., Ansfield, M.E., Tickle, J.J., & Green, E. (1999). Beliefs about cues to deception: Mindless stereotypes or untapped wisdom? Journal of Nonverbal Behavior, 23, 67-89.
Lane, J.D., & DePaulo, B.M. (1999). Dysphorics’ ability to detect deception: Completing Coyne’s cycle. Journal of Research in Personality, 33, 311-329.
DePaulo, B.M., & Kulik, J.A. (1999). Roger Brown (1925-1997). American Psychologist, 54, 1128-1129.
Anderson, D.E., DePaulo, B.M., & Ansfield, M.E. (2002). The development of deception detection skill: A longitudinal study of same sex friends. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 28, 536-545.
DePaulo, B.M., Lindsay, J.J., Malone, B.E., Muhlenbruck, L., Charlton, K., & Cooper, H. (2003). Cues to deception. Psychological Bulletin, 129, 74-118.
DePaulo, B. M., Wetzel, C., Sternglanz, C., & Wilson, M. W. (2003). Verbal and nonverbal dynamics of privacy, secrecy, and deceit. Journal of Social Issues, 59, 391-410.
DePaulo, B.M., Ansfield, M.E., Kirkendol, S.E., & Boden, J.M. (2004). Serious lies. Basic and Applied Social Psychology, 26, 147-167.
Sternglanz, R. W., & DePaulo, B. M. (2004). Reading nonverbal cues to emotion: The advantages and liabilities of relationship closeness. Journal of Nonverbal Behavior, 24, 245-266.
DePaulo, B. M., & Morris, W. L. (2005). Singles in society and in science. Psychological Inquiry, 16, 57-83. (Target article.)
DePaulo, B. M., & Morris, W. L. (2005). Should singles and the scholars who study them make their mark or stay in their place? Psychological Inquiry, 16, 142-149. (Response to commentaries on target article.)
Bond, C.F. Jr., & DePaulo, B.M. (2006). Accuracy of deception judgments. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 10, 214-234.
DePaulo, B. M., & Morris, W. L. (2006). The unrecognized stereotyping and discrimination against people who are single. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 15, 251-254.
Schutz, A., Hertel, J., DePaulo, B. M., Morris, W. L., & Stucke, T. S. (2007). She’s single, so what? How are singles perceived compared with people who are in romantic relationships? Zeitschrift fur Familienforschung (Journal of Family Research), 19, 139-158.
Morris, W. L., Sinclair, S., & DePaulo, B. M. (2007). No shelter for singles: The perceived legitimacy of civil status discrimination. Group Processes and Intergroup Relations, 10, 457-470.
Bond, C.F. Jr., & DePaulo, B.M. (2008). Individual differences in detecting deception: Accuracy and bias. Psychological Bulletin, 134, 477-492.
Bond, C.F. Jr., & DePaulo, B.M. (2008). Individual differences in judging deception: Reply to O’Sullivan (2008) and Pigott and Wu (2008). Psychological Bulletin, 134, 501-503.
DePaulo, B.M., & Bond, C.F. Jr. (2012). Beyond accuracy: Bigger, broader ways to think about deceit. Journal of Applied Research in Memory and Cognition, 1, 120-121.
DePaulo, B. (2013). The proliferation of life choices and the resistance that follows. Analyses of Social Issues and Public Policy, 13, 34-37.
DePaulo, B. (2014). A Singles Studies perspective on mount marriage. Psychological Inquiry, 25, 64-68.
DePaulo, B. M., & Rosenthal, R. (1979). Ambivalence, discrepancy, and deception in nonverbal communication. In R. Rosenthal (Ed.), Skill in nonverbal communication (pp. 204-248). Cambridge, MA.: Oelgeschlager, Gunn, & Hain.
Rosenthal, R., & DePaulo, B. M. (1979). Sex differences in accommodation in nonverbal communication. In R. Rosenthal (Ed.), Skill in nonverbal communication (pp. 68-103). Cambridge, MA.: Oelgeschlager, Gunn, & Hain.
DePaulo, B. M., Zuckerman, M., & Rosenthal, R. (1980). Detecting deception: Modality effects. In L. Wheeler (Ed.), The review of personality and social psychology (pp. 125-162). Beverly Hills, CA.: Sage.
Fisher, J. D., DePaulo, B. M., & Nadler, A. (1981). Extending altruism beyond the altruistic act: The mixed effects of aid on the help recipient. In J. P. Rushton & R. M. Sorrentino (Eds.), Altruism and helping behavior (pp. 367-422). Hillsdale, NJ.: Erlbaum.
Zuckerman, M., DePaulo, B. M., & Rosenthal, R. (1981). Verbal and nonverbal communication of deception. In L. Berkowitz (Ed.), Advances in experimental social psychology (Vol. 14, pp. l-59). New York: Academic Press.
DePaulo, B. M., & Rosenthal, R. (1982). Measuring the development of nonverbal sensitivity. In C.E. Izard (Ed.), Measuring emotions in infants and children (pp. 208-247). New York: Cambridge University Press.
DePaulo, B. M. (1982). Social psychological processes in informal help-seeking. In T.A. Wills (Ed.), Basic processes in helping relationships (pp. 255-279). New York: Academic Press.
DePaulo, B. M., & Jordan, A. (1982). Age changes in deceiving and detecting deceit. In R. S. Feldman (Ed.), Development of nonverbal behavior in children (pp. 151-180). New York: Springer-Verlag.
DePaulo, B. M., Brown, P. L., & Greenberg, J. M. (1983). The effects of help on task performance in achievement contexts. In J. D. Fisher, A. Nadler, & B. M. DePaulo (Eds.), New directions in helping (Vol. 1): Recipient reactions to aid (pp. 223-249). New York: Academic Press.
DePaulo, B. M. (1983). Perspectives on help-seeking. In B.M. DePaulo, A. Nadler, & J.D. Fisher (Eds.), New directions in helping (Vol. 2): Help-seeking (pp. 3-12). New York: Academic Press.
DePaulo, B. M., Leiphart, V. M., & Dull, W. R. (1984). Help-seeking and social interaction: Person, situation, and process considerations. In D. Bar-Tal, J. Karylowski, J. Reykowski, & E. Staub (Eds.), The development and maintenance of prosocial behavior (pp. 337-357). New York: Plenum.
DePaulo, B. M., Stone, J. I., & Lassiter, G. D. (1985). Deceiving and detecting deceit. In B.R. Schlenker (Ed.), The self and social life (pp. 323-370). New York: McGraw-Hill.
Zuckerman, M., DePaulo, B.M., & Rosenthal, R. (1986). Humans as deceivers and lie-detectors. In P.D. Blanck, R. Buck, & R. Rosenthal (Eds.), Nonverbal communication in the clinical context (pp. 13-36). University Park, PA.: Penn State Press.
DePaulo, B.M., & Kirkendol, S.E. (1989). The motivational impairment effect in the communication of deception. In J. Yuille (Ed.), Credibility assessment (pp. 51-70). Belgium: Kluwer Academic Publishers.
DePaulo, P.J., DePaulo, B.M., Tang, J., & Swaim, G.W. (1989). Lying and detecting lies in organizations. In R.A. Giacalone & P. Rosenfeld (Eds.), Impression management in organizational settings (pp. 377-393). Hillsdale, NJ: Erlbaum.
DePaulo, B.M. (1991). Nonverbal behavior and self-presentation: A developmental perspective. In R.S. Feldman & B. Rime (Eds.), Fundamentals of nonverbal behavior (pp. 351-397). Cambridge: Cambridge University Press.
Coleman, L.M., & DePaulo, B.M. (1991). Uncovering the human spirit: Moving beyond disability and “missed” communications. In N. Coupland, H. Giles, & J. Wiemann (Eds.), Handbook of miscommunication and problematic talk (pp. 61-84). Beverly Hills, CA: Sage
Wills, T.A., & DePaulo, B.M. (1991). An interpersonal analysis of the help-seeking process. In C.R. Snyder & D.R. Forsyth (Eds), Handbook of social and clinical psychology (pp. 350-375). NY: Pergamon.
DePaulo, B.M. (1993). The ability to judge others from their expressive behaviors. In K. Craik, R. Wolfe, & R. Hogan (Eds.), Fifty years of personality psychology (pp. 197-206). NY: Plenum.
DePaulo, B.M., & Epstein, J.A., & Wyer, M.M. (1993). Sex differences in lying: How women and men deal with the dilemma of deceit. In M. Lewis & C. Saarni (Eds.), Lying and deception in everyday life (pp. 126-147). New York: Guilford Press.
DePaulo, B.M. (1993). Nonverbal communication of expectancy effects: Can we communicate high expectations if only we try? In P.D. Blanck (Ed.), Interpersonal expectations: Theory, research, and applications (pp. 261-275). Cambridge: Cambridge University Press.
DePaulo, B.M. (1994). Deception. In T. Manstead & M. Hewstone (Eds.), Blackwell encyclopedia of social psychology (pp. 164-168). Oxford: Blackwell.
Kenny, D.A. & DePaulo, B.M. (1994). Meta-perception. In D.A. Kenny, Interpersonal perception: A Social Relations analysis (pp. 144-176). New York: Guilford Press.
DePaulo, B.M., & Friedman, H.S. (1998). Nonverbal communication. In D. Gilbert, S.T. Fiske, & G. Lindzey (Eds.), Handbook of social psychology (4th ed., Vol. 2, pp. 3-40). NY: Random House.
DePaulo, B.M., & Tornqvist, J.S. (1998). Deception. In H.S. Friedman (Ed.), Encyclopedia of mental health (Vol. 1, pp. 675-685). New York: Academic Press.
Anderson, D.E., Ansfield, M.E., & DePaulo, B.M. (1999). Love’s best habit: Deception in the context of relationships. In P. Philippot, R.S. Feldman, & E.J. Coats (Eds.), The social context of nonverbal behavior (pp. 372-409). Cambridge: Cambridge University Press.
Malone, B.E., & DePaulo, B.M. (2001). Measuring sensitivity to deception. In J.A. Hall & F. Bernieri (Eds.), Interpersonal sensitivity: Theory, measurement, and application (pp. 103-124). NJ: Erlbaum.
Tornqvist, J.S., Anderson, D.E., & DePaulo, B.M. (2001). Deception. In W.P. Robinson & H. Giles (Eds.). Handbook of language and social psychology (2nd ed., pp. 271-284). Sussex, England: John Wiley & Sons.
DePaulo, B. M. (2004). The many faces of lies. In A. G. Miller (Ed.), The social psychology of good and evil (pp. 303-326). NY: Guilford.
DePaulo, B. M., & Morris, W. L. (2005). Discerning lies from truths: Behavioral cues to deception and the indirect pathway of intuition. In P. A. Granhag & L. A. Stromwall (Eds.), Deception detection in forensic contexts (pp. 15-40). Cambridge: Cambridge University Press.
Morris, W. L., DePaulo, B. M., Hertel, J., & Taylor, L. C. (2008). Singlism – another problem that has no name: Prejudice, stereotypes, and discrimination against singles. In M. A. Morrison & T. G. Morrison (Eds.), The psychology of modern prejudice (pp. 165-194). New York: Nova Science Publishers.
Morris, W. L., and DePaulo, B. M. (2009) Singlehood. In H. Reis & S. Sprecher (Eds.), Encyclopedia of Human Relationships. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.
DePaulo, B. M., Morris, W. L., & Sternglanz, R. W. (2009). When the truth hurts: Deception in the name of kindness. In A. L. Vangelisti (Ed.), Feeling hurt in close relationships (pp. 167-190). Cambridge: Cambridge University Press.
DePaulo, Bella. (2009). Foreword. In Nika C. Beamon, I didn’t work this hard just to get married (pp. xi-xiv). Chicago, IL: Lawrence Hill Books.
DePaulo, Bella. (2010). Deception: It’s what Dexter does best (well, second best). In Bella DePaulo (Ed.), The psychology of Dexter (pp. 65-78). Dallas, TX: BenBella Books.
DePaulo, Bella. (2010). For the love of Dexter. In Bella DePaulo (Ed.), The psychology of Dexter (pp. 1-4). Dallas, TX: BenBella Books.
DePaulo, Bella. (2011). Everyone lies. In L. L. Martin & T. Cascio (Eds.), House and psychology (pp. 152-168). New York: Wiley.
DePaulo, Bella. (2011). Living single: Lightening up those dark, dopey myths. In W. R. Cupach & B. H. Spitzberg (Eds.), The dark side of close relationships II (pp. 409-439). New York: Routledge.
Casper, W. J., & DePaulo, B. (2012). A new layer to inclusion: Creating singles-friendly work environments. In N. Reilly, A. Gorman, & M. J. Sirgy (Eds.), Work and Quality of life: Ethical Practices in Organizations (pp. 217-234). New York: Springer.
DePaulo, B. (2012). Single, no children: Who is your family? In A. Vangelisti (Ed.), Routledge Handbook of Family Communication (2nd ed., pp. 190-204). New York: Routledge.
DePaulo, B. (2013). Happy singles. In L. Bormans (Ed.), The world book of love (pp. 46-47). Tielt, Belgium: Lannoo Publishers.
DePaulo, B. (2014). Single in a society preoccupied with couples. In R. J. Coplan & J. C. Bowker (Eds.), The Handbook of Solitude: Psychological Perspectives on Social Isolation, Social Withdrawal, and Being Alone (pp. 302-316). Hoboken, NJ: Wiley-Blackwell.
DePaulo, B. (in press). Big-time liars and their supporting casts: The trip down liars’ lane. In E. Mallot (Ed.), Lying.
DePaulo, B. (in press). Social psychology of lying. In J. Meibauer (Ed.), The Oxford Handbook of Lying. Oxford, UK: Oxford University Press.
DePaulo, B. (in press). Singles and mental health. In H. Friedman (Ed.), Encyclopedia of mental health (2nd ed.). Oxford, UK: Elsevier.
Book Reviews and Commentaries
DePaulo, B. M. (1978). Review of Observing behavior (2 vols.) by G. P. Sackett (Ed.), Social Science and Medicine, 12, 288-289.
DePaulo, B. M. (1980). Nonverbal communication: A useful book of lists (Review of Nonverbal communication: The state of the art by R. G. Harper, A. N. Wiens, & J. D. Matarazzo). Semiotica, 29, 365-375.
DePaulo, B.M., & Bell, K.L. (1990). Rapport is not so soft anymore. (Commentary on The nature of rapport and its nonverbal correlates, by L. Tickle-Degnen & R. Rosenthal). Psychological Inquiry, 1, 305-308.
DePaulo, B.M. (1992). Should we bemoan or applaud the loss of innocence? (Review of Children’s interpersonal trust: Sensitivity to lying, deception, and promise violations, edited by K.J. Rotenberg.) Contemporary Psychology, 37, 935.
DePaulo, B.M. (1993). Little liars: What lawyers want to know and what psychologists can tell them. (Review of Cognitive and social factors in early deception, edited by S.J. Ceci, M. DeSimone Leichtman, & M.E. Putnick.) Applied Cognitive Psychology, 7, 360-361.
DePaulo, B.M. (1996). Review of By the grace of guile: The role of deception in natural history and human affairs by Loyal Rue, Political Psychology, 17, 387-390.
DePaulo, B.M. (1997). Truth and distortion: Insights and oversights about deceit. (Review of Deceit, delusion, and detection, by W. Peter Robinson.) Contemporary Psychology, 42, 711-712.
DePaulo, Bella. (2011). Single people. Oxford Bibliographies Online. http://www.oxfordbibliographies.com/view/document/obo-9780199828340/obo-9780199828340-0055.xml?rskey=fIWfQt&result=114
DePaulo, Bella, & Bond, Charles F. Jr. (2013). Deceiving and detecting deceit. Oxford Bibliographies Online. http://www.oxfordbibliographies.com/view/document/obo-9780199828340/obo-9780199828340-0063.xml?rskey=MIo4AT&result=22
Workshops, Lectures, and Conferences
Advisory workshop on deception. Office of Technology Assessment, Congress of the United States, June 1986.
Workshop for high school teachers of psychology. Virginia Psychological Association, October 1994.
Workshop on the psychology of deception. Advanced Studies Institute for Polygraphers, Charlottesville, VA, September 1999.
Workshop on the science of deception. Sponsored by the CIA, RAND, and the American Psychological Association. Arlington, VA, July 2003.
Workshop on issues in working with singles. North Carolina Psychological Association, October 2006.
Workshop on the role of singles in society. Education Day. Turku, Finland, September 2013.
Bella DePaulo has lectured nationally and internationally. She has addressed a wide variety of groups, including attorneys, judges, physicists, mental health professionals, and high school teachers. Venues have included the NATO Advanced Study Institute in Maratea, Italy, the Criminal Lawyers Association in Toronto, the American Academy of Judicial Education, and the New York Academy of Sciences. She has also given many conference presentations, including papers, panel presentations, and invited addresses.
Beyond the Academic
DePaulo, Bella M. (June 18, 2004). Sex and the Single Voter. Op-ed, The New York Times.
DePaulo, Bella M. (November 21, 2004). Living Single, Seeing Double. Op-ed, Newsday.
DePaulo, Bella M. (July 5, 2004). Ditching the lipstick-and-panties pitch. Alternet.
DePaulo, Bella. (June 11, 2006). Newsweek is still wrong. The Huffington Post. (And many other contributions to The Huffington Post.)
DePaulo, Bella. (2007). Single all the way. In D. Mapes (Ed.), Single State of the Union. Seal Press. Emeryville, CA
DePaulo, Bella, and Trimberger, Kay. (January 14, 2007) Single Americans are hardly flying solo. Op-ed, San Francisco Chronicle.
DePaulo, Bella; Moran, Rachel F.; and Trimberger, E. Kay. (September 28, 2007). Make room for singles in teaching and research. Chronicle of Higher Education, pp. B44-B45.
DePaulo, Bella. (March 21, 2008). Living single: It is how we spend the better part of our adult lives. Psychology Today. (And other contributions to the Living Single blog for Psychology Today.)
DePaulo, Bella, and Althouse, Ann. (July 27, 2008). Singles discrimination. Bloggingheads TV conversation, posted on the opinion page of the New York Times.
DePaulo, Bella. (December 22, 2008). Yes, there is a single demographic. Forbes.
DePaulo, Bella. (May 19, 2010). Contribution to Room for Debate: “Politicians and their fake war stories,” New York Times.
DePaulo, Bella. (February 12, 2012). Contribution to Room for Debate: “A new American experiment,” New York Times.
DePaulo, Bella, and Buddeberg, Rachel. (January 14, 2015.) Do you, married person, take these unearned privileges, for better or for better? Truthout.
DePaulo, Bella (March 13, 2015). Discrimination against parents has vast implications for their children. The Guardian.
DePaulo, Bella (April 11, 2015). We want other people to share the worldviews we care about the most. Time magazine. (Forum on the stigmatizing of women who do not have children)
Bella DePaulo’s research on the social psychology of deception and on singlehood has been widely reported in the media. Stories about her work have been published in newspapers such as The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, USA Today, and The Los Angeles Times. Magazines mentioning her work include Time, Newsweek, The New Yorker, U S News & World Report, Business Week, AARP Magazine, The New York Times Magazine, the Economist, and many others.
The NPR program, Justice Talking, invited Bella DePaulo to contribute an on-air essay on living single. She has also appeared on NPR’s Talk of the Nation. Dr. DePaulo has been a guest on many other radio programs as well.
Professor DePaulo has appeared on television shows such as, Good Morning America, The Early Show, CBS Sunday Morning, NBC Nightly News, Hardball with Chris Matthews, CNN’s Anderson Cooper 360, and CNN Saturday Night.